Arrivederci

Dearest,

How do I say goodbye to someone who meant so much to me? How do I say goodbye to someone who changed me forever? How do I say goodbye to someone who listened patiently to all of my dreams and fears, joys and sorrows? How do I say goodbye?

You took me in close to your heart and pulled it closed to protect me, surrounding me with the sweetest, warmest light. Safely enveloped in unconditional love, the purest joy and complete acceptance. How do I say goodbye?

A lifetime of laughter. Belly aching, cheek hurting, tears flowing, raucous, cackling hours of laughter. How do I say goodbye?

You were the place to touch when I needed peace. Comfort came with your words, a depth of understanding pooling in your eyes when I was hurt and confiding in you. How do I say goodbye?

I’ve been waiting, walking, talking, trying to find a time, a path to finality. You’ve been gone a long time now and I still hear your voice, I turn to speak only to find myself alone and longing for our talks. How do I say goodbye?

The days turn into months, the months into years, time has passed so quickly and I still search for the words. Words that will never make sense to me, never satisfy me, never have the meaning they were supposed to have. How do I say goodbye?

I don’t think I will. I think I’ll enjoy hearing your laughter in my quiet places, calling your name when I need to be comforted, feeling the warmth of the heart that took me in and loved me like their own. It will take some time… but I think I’ll just wait and say hello.

Forever